The Dirty Dozen and Bottom of the Barrel: We got the funk



We got the funk, got have that funk. Right? College Football, much like funk music is a part of our history. Unless you're a fan of Galatic Realignment --but that's a whole separate story.


This week, we learned Arkansas is for real, Alabama and Georgia are currently on a different level and Clemson is nothing near what anybody thought the were.


So you'll have to click on the link below and watch on YouTube, where you too can get the funk....


I really wish I could go into detail about how awesome the games were this past weekend but really, minus the Arkansas win over Texas A&M very little in our list of College Football's best and worst list will change.


Ok, maybe that isn't totally true--Rice won their game this past weekend which means the Patties move out of our Bottom of the Barrel list.


Let's just cut to the chase here: Last Week, I went 13-1 picking games. What's scarier is that I actually got the score right in more than one of them.



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By the way--the GIF here is "Uncle Roger". Look him up on YouTube, his videos are funny as hell.


The 13-1 week moves me to 23-4 on the season. And it's early. Maybe I really am smarter than I look.


THE DIRTY DOZEN:


  1. Alabama 4-0: Yeah, I said it last week. Don't read too much in to Bama struggling with Florida. They do it at least once a year. They barely broke a sweat this past week, this week may be a smidge different. THIS WEEK: vs. Ole Miss; My Pick: Alabama 43, Ole Miss 35

  2. Georgia 4-0: This is a scary good team. Yes, I said it. The play serious defense and are super deep on offense. Plus they go 2 to 3 players deep. We're about to find out what happens when they get pushed. THIS WEEK: vs. Arkansas; My Pick: Georgia 41, Arkansas 21

  3. Oregon 4-0: If it walks like a duck, blocks like a duck and hits like a duck, they probably are the best team in the west. This is likely the best team out west and if they win out, the Duckies will be in the playoff. THIS WEEK: at Stanford; My Pick: Oregon 37, Stanford 23

  4. Penn State 4-0: So far so good. Yeah, there might be an issue as the season goes with the coach, James Franklin gets linked by various people to the USC job. Which I think would be a mistake on his part if he goes--but what do I know? Anyway...THIS WEEK: vs. Indiana; My Pick: Penn State 43, Indiana 20.

  5. Cincinnati 4-0: Hey, look here! Yeah, you read this right. The Bearcats yeah, are good. They can play football. Really, really well. We may find out just how good they are this week. But that's ok. THIS WEEK: at Notre Dame; My Pick: Cincinnati 31, Notre Dame 23

  6. Iowa 4-0: Uh....I'm not really feeling too confident about this one to be perfectly honest. They really struggled with a not so good Colorado State team. I'm still betting on them gagging at some point, in fact I'd say it would be within the next 3-4 weeks. THIS WEEK: at Maryland; My Pick: Iowa 31, Maryland 27

  7. Oklahoma 4-0: Another shaky team here. They've been good enough to win, but have not been really impressive. They're lacking the "Breakaway" threat of seasons past and it's hurt them. The calls for the backup QB last week wasn't a good look either. THIS WEEK: at Kansas State; My Pick: Oklahoma 31, Kansas St. 17

  8. Arkansas 4-0: Tough, well coached team here. I was not surprised they beat an overrated Texas A&M squad. At all. If K.J. Jefferson is healthy, this is a dangerous offense. Playing UGA in Athens is gonna be tough though. THIS WEEK: at Georgia; My Pick: SEE #2

  9. Florida 3-1: A very good win vs. Tennessee. Emory Jones is playing better each week and that makes the Gators dangerous. I still don't believe a team with Todd Grantham as Defensive Coordinator will win a title. But I could be wrong. THIS WEEK: at Kentucky; My Pick: Kentucky 27, Florida 23 UPSET!!!!!

  10. Ole Miss 3-1: The Rebels are very dangerous. They could go for 50 or go for 10 depending on the week. Matt Corral has been lighting things up in Lane Kiffin's system, the test comes this week. THIS WEEK: at Alabama; My Pick: SEE #1

  11. Ohio St. 3-1: Until proven otherwise, the Buckeyes are still the team to beat in the Big 10. Yes, I know--they've lost. But not in the conference. That only potentially impacts their College Football Playoff chances. THIS WEEK: at Rutgers; My Pick: Ohio St. 41, Rutgers 27

  12. BYU 4-0: Yes, the Cougars remain on our list. They keep taking care of business and College Football is better for it. Sure, they're heading to the Big 12, but we can detail that another time. THIS WEEK: at Utah State; My Pick: BYU 41, Utah State 23.

Really there's not much else to say here. I'm struggling to come up with something witty and funny. We're at midseason, this will change.


THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL:

This list is a bit harder to rank because to be perfectly honest, there are a crap-ton of teams who fit the bill. Unlike the major websites, we don't do anything more than a 5 team list to spare some from the indignity (yes, my big word of the day).


5. Vanderbilt 1-3; Oooh, the Commodores are bad. The game last week vs. UGA was really, really bad. Vandy never had a chance, not that it would of mattered. Two different levels of teams. It really makes you question why Vanderbilt is in the SEC (oh, way--they're in it for the money). THIS WEEK: OMG!!! They're playing UCONN!! Serioiusly! This could be the game of the CENTURY. My Pick: Vanderbilt 13 UConn 12


4. Akron 1-3: Nope, there is no escape Akron. You can check in any time you like, but you can never leave....our list that is, not the Hotel California. They had roughly the same game with Ohio St. that Vandy did with UGA. THIS WEEK: vs. OHIO...what? Another Battle of the Barrel?? My Pick: Akron 13, Ohio 9


3. UMass 0-4: The Minute-men are pretty tiny right now (get it, min-ute? Hahahaha!). They've scored 10 points total in 2 road games (not good), but 28 in each of their road losses (not as bad). 15 straight losses is not good, but hey, #squadgoals. THIS WEEK: vs. Toledo; My Pick: Toledo 37, UMass 28.


2. Ohio 0-4; Well, the good news: The season is 1/3 over. So there's that. I forgot about this team, which I guess must be reeling from the retirement of Frank Solich. Bad news: Solich isn't coming back. Deal with it. THIS WEEK: SEE #4


  1. UConn 0-4: Oh, UConn. Maybe y'all should consider playing something other than football. Sure, you scared Wyoming last week, but you still lost. I still can't believe the Huskies and Vanderbilt are squaring off this week. College Football at its masochistic best. THIS WEEK: SEE #5

Yes, I cannot believe we have two intersquad, Bottom of the Barrel matchups the same week. It makes me wonder if we should be looking for a giant asteroid to come obliterate us all Saturday afternoon. Considering how the past two years have gone, it might not be the worst outcome.


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