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The Dirty Dozen and Bottom of the Barrel: Long Live Dark Helmet

Yeah, you could say the SEC's football schedule this week was made by a bunch of "Spaceballs" (and if you don't get the reference---Google it").....

If you didn't read my Monday column...or listen to either of OSG on CFB Podcasts (found on Spreaker, I-Tunes, Spotify, Stitcher and others), you might not know what College Football's "Elite" conference has on the agenda this week--just two weeks before seasons end.

The Citadel and Alabama, Liberty at Auburn, UMass at Georgia, Rice at LSU, Idaho at Florida and there's more.

What's even funnier: Nick Saban (possible Dark Helmet candidate) trying to justify 'Bama's game vs. Citadel (a.k.a--10 minutes of your life you won't get back)

And as for yours truly---well, I'm glad you asked:

Hey now---15-1 last week straight up, how 'bout them Apples. It puts the record at 93-16 on the season.

Who's your College Football prediction expert? I AM!!!

Enough of that, let's get to the stuff you're all here for (all 5 of you):


1) Alabama 10-0: Yeah, the Tide looked almost human while squashing Miss. State 24-0. Plus, Tua keeps taking shots to the knee. Yet Saban claims his QB is playing vs. the dreaded Citadel. Yeah, right dude...

This Week: vs. Citadel; My Pick: Alabama 52, Citadel 3

2) Clemson 10-0: The run continues. The Tigers got through arguably their biggest hurdle before the season ends by dispatching Bah-Stin College handily. If anyone can challenge the Tide, these are your guys.

This Week: vs. Duke; My Pick Clemson 43, Duke 17

3) Notre Dame 10-0: Another team who just needs to take care of business and stay healthy. Even without starting QB Ian Book, the Irish rolled behind former starter Brandon Winbush. Tough game this week, might be a potential "Game of the Week"

This Week: vs. Syracuse (at Yankee Stadium); My Pick: Notre Dame 24, Syracuse 22

4) Michigan 9-1: The fighting Harbaugh's might be the team on the biggest roll winding down their season. Don Brown looks like a defensive savant/coach and QB Shea Patterson has steadily improved. It won't be easy, but the path is very----very clear.

This Week: vs. Indiana; My Pick: Michigan 42, Indiana 7

5) Georgia 9-1: A mildly flawed contender, the Dawgs could have the biggest influence on the College Football playoff before we're done. A young team, outside the egg they laid in Baton Rouge, that's gotten slowly better each week.

This Week: vs. UMass??; My Pick: UGA 47, UMass 17

6) Washington State 9-1: Wait, what!!! Yup, the Cougars are the real deal folks. Like everyone in the Pac-12 they can score. But they play at least some defense too. Which is more than the Big 12 folks can say...Love us some Gardner Minshew here at OSG HQ

This Week: vs. Arizona; My Pick: Washington State 34, Arizona 21

7) Oklahoma 9-1: Nobody questions how good the Sooners can be. Kyler Murray is arguably better than his predecessor Baker Mayfield. Nothing short of awesome this season. The issue is defense---which is why they may....or may not beat West Virginia in a couple weeks.

This Week: vs. Kansas; My Pick: Oklahoma 53, Kansas 23

8) UCF 9-0: Yup, the Knights finally get their moment in the spotlight as Gameday comes to town. The day ends with a AAC Primetime, ABC showdown at night. Should be crazy in the town I grew up in (Orlando). Emotion may rule the day....

This Week: UCF 37, Cincinnati 33

9) West Virginia 9-1: It won't be easy. Beat both of Oklahoma's teams, the Mountaineers could sneak in the playoff. Lose out, and it is a December bowl game. Even with Dana Holgerson's more adventurous play calling we don't really know how this will play out.

This Week: at Oklahoma State; My Pick: West Virginia 43, Okie State 31

10) LSU 8-2: So, I'm not as sold on the Tigers as the more highly publicized writers are. The defense is pretty good, the offense sporadic at best. Which I don't think qualifies them for a "Pick 6" game, but I'm guessing I'm in the minority with this thought...

This Week: vs. Rice (yikes!); My Pick: LSU 48, Rice 10

11) Ohio State 9-1: Team chaos. The win vs. Michigan State wasn't pretty, but it was a win. The Buckeye's still have a place or can change the pecking order as we edge towards seasons end. The question is which team will show up to play....

This Week: at Maryland; My Pick: Ohio State 38, Maryland 17

12) Syracuse 8-2: Wait! Syracuse? Yeah, why the heck not? The Orange are as deserving as any other fringe competitor. Eric Dungey is a pretty solid QB and the Orange are battle tested. Coach Dino Babers is going to be popular this off season...

This Week: Notre Dame; My Pick--See #3


Not much change in the Dozen either, Bowling Green did get a win--beating equally as weak Central Michigan, but outside that bad is bad and we play College Football games on Saturday...

The biggest news with this group of teams, the elimination of Bobby Petrino from a Louisville team which quit on him several weeks ago. No, you should not feel bad about someone losing their job in this issue for two reasons: 1) He's getting $14+ million over the next couple seasons to go away and 2) It's Bobby Petrino--arguably one of the Top 10 worst human beings on the planet....

But I digress....

Let's wrap things up:

5) Louisville 2-8: You know a team is bad when they've given up 187 points in the past 3-games (62.3 ppg.). And its not like the talent pool is empty, the Cardinals just plain weren't interested in playing for douchebag Bobby Petrino (did I just insult him?)....I'm guessing they'll at least try under Interim Head Coach Lorenzo Ward...

This Week: vs. North Carolina St; My Pick: NC State 47, Louisville 31

4) Central Michigan 1-10: Directional Michigan schools are generally meh, and the Chippewas fit the description so well, I'm amazed I've overlooked them for so long. Thankfully the season is almost over, one game is left. But it isn't this week....

This Week: BYE

3) Rutgers 1-9: Way to go Big 10. You took on the Scarlet Knights hoping for a New York/New Jersey audience. Little did you know you were getting a bad football team that nobody in the Northeast cares about. And FWIW---they aren't winning another game this season.

This Week: vs. Penn State; My Pick: Penn State 34, Rutgers 7

2) Rice 1-9: The good news for the Krispies? They didn't get embarrassed in a 28-13 loss to La. Tech. However, the Louisiana tour continues and gets much worse. Much, much worse. Snap, Crackle nor Pop can save them this time....

This Week at LSU; My Pick: LSU 48, Rice 10

1) UConn 1-9: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you America's worst defensive football team. They've given up over 600 yards a game and held only one team (UMass) to under 38 points. But hey, Randy Edsall gets paid if the score first among other things---isn't that what matters?

This Week: at East Carolina; My Pick: East Carolina 39, UMass 13

Also recieving votes: North Carolina, UTEP, San Jose State, Western Kentucky......

And we finish with your musical tip/recommendation of the week:

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